The One-on-One Framework That Actually Works
A structured approach to regular check-ins that builds trust and drives results
One-on-ones are the most important tool in your management toolkit. Done well, they build trust, catch problems early, and help your team grow. Done poorly, they’re a waste of time that everyone dreads.
This playbook gives you a straightforward framework that works.
The Foundation
One-on-ones are their meeting, not yours. Your job is to show up, listen, and help them solve problems. If you spend most of the time talking, you’re doing it wrong.
Frequency and duration: 30 minutes weekly, or 45-60 minutes biweekly. Pick one and stick to it. Consistency matters more than length.
Scheduling: Put them on the calendar at the same time every week or every other week. Recurring meetings reduce the mental overhead for both of you. If you need to move one, reschedule immediately. Don’t let them slip.
Location: Default to in-person or video if you’re remote. Walk-and-talks work for some people. Whatever you choose, make it predictable.
The Structure
A simple three-part structure keeps the conversation focused and useful:
Part 1: Their Agenda (20 minutes)
Start here every time. Ask: “What do you want to talk about today?”
This is where they bring up blockers, questions, concerns, ideas, or anything else on their mind. Your job is to listen, ask questions, and help them think through problems.
Common topics:
Blockers on current work
Questions about priorities or decisions
Interpersonal issues with teammates
Career development and growth
Feedback on how things are going
Ideas for improvements
Your role: Ask clarifying questions. Help them think through options. Remove obstacles. Provide context they might be missing. Take notes on action items.
Part 2: Your Topics (5-10 minutes)
This is where you bring up things you need to discuss:
Feedback on their work (positive and constructive)
Context on team or company changes
Upcoming projects or priorities
Performance or behaviour concerns
Keep it brief. If you have a lot to discuss, consider whether it needs a separate conversation.
Part 3: Career and Growth (5 minutes)
Reserve the last few minutes for longer-term topics:
What are they learning?
What do they want to work on next?
What skills are they trying to build?
What projects excite them?
You don’t need to solve everything in one meeting. Plant seeds, ask questions, and follow up over time.
What to Ask
Good questions unlock good conversations. Here are some that work:
For blockers and problems:
What’s slowing you down right now?
What would make this easier?
Who else should be involved in this?
What do you need from me?
For feedback and reflection:
How do you feel about how that project went?
What would you do differently next time?
What went better than expected?
For team dynamics:
How are things going with the team?
Is there anything I should know about?
Who should you be working with more closely?
For growth:
What do you want to get better at?
What kind of work energizes you?
What are you curious about?
Avoid yes/no questions. Open-ended questions lead to real conversations.
What to Avoid
Don’t use one-on-ones for status updates. You should already know what they’re working on. If you don’t, fix your communication systems. Use this time for things that actually need conversation.
Don’t skip them. Cancelling sends the message that they’re not a priority. If you absolutely must move a meeting, reschedule it immediately.
Don’t fill silence. Pauses are okay. Give them time to think. Resist the urge to jump in with your own stories or solutions.
Don’t make it all about performance. If the only time you talk about their work is to give feedback or discuss problems, one-on-ones become stressful. Balance is important.
Taking Notes
Keep notes for yourself. They help you remember commitments, track patterns, and prepare for future conversations.
What to capture:
Action items (for you and for them)
Key topics discussed
Career interests and development goals
Feedback you gave or received
Patterns over time (recurring blockers, themes, concerns)
Where to keep them: Wherever works for you. Notion, Google Docs, a notebook. Just make sure you can reference them later.
Don’t share your notes with HR or leadership without telling the person first. One-on-ones need to feel like a safe space.
Building Trust
Trust doesn’t happen in one meeting. It builds over time when you consistently show up, listen, and follow through.
Do what you say you’ll do. If you commit to unblocking something, following up with someone, or getting them an answer, do it. Nothing erodes trust faster than forgotten commitments.
Be honest. If you don’t know something, say so. If you can’t share something, explain why. Don’t bullshit them.
Ask for feedback. Make it a regular part of the conversation. “What should I be doing differently?” or “What’s one thing I could do to make your work easier?” And then actually listen and act on it.
Keep their confidence. If they share something sensitive, don’t repeat it unless you have their permission or it’s a serious issue that requires escalation. If you need to escalate, tell them first.
When It’s Not Working
Sometimes one-on-ones feel awkward or unproductive. That’s normal, especially early on. Here’s what to do:
If they have nothing to talk about: Ask better questions. Dig into how things are going, what’s on their mind, or what they’re learning. If it keeps happening, check whether they feel safe bringing things up.
If it feels like a status update: Redirect. “I already know what you’re working on. Let’s talk about how it’s going, or what you need from me.”
If they seem disengaged: Ask directly. “These don’t seem very useful to you. What would make them better?” Sometimes the format, time, or frequency needs to change.
If you’re always running out of time: Extend the meeting or shift to weekly instead of biweekly. Some people need more time.
Getting Started
If you’re starting one-on-ones with someone new, set expectations in the first meeting:
“This is your time. I want to hear what’s on your mind, help remove blockers, and make sure you have what you need. We’ll spend most of the time on your topics, and I’ll bring up anything I need to discuss. We’ll also save a few minutes for career and growth. How does that sound?”
Then ask: “What’s on your mind today?”
That’s it. The first one might feel a bit awkward. The second will be easier. By the third or fourth, you’ll both settle into a rhythm.
The Bottom Line
One-on-ones don’t need to be complicated. Show up consistently, listen more than you talk, follow through on commitments, and make it about them, not you. Do that, and you’ll build the kind of trust and communication that makes everything else easier.